The Others

Josh drew this picture of his 'other' family. He says they aren't very nice and don't buy him anything and they don't do fun stuff.

So, if you had a pretend family, wouldn't you make them the coolest that ever lived? Wouldn't you pretend that you live in Hawaii right on the water? And that you go to Disneyland every weekend? And that you get to brush your teeth with candy?

At least he likes us more....

Maximum Growth

We've been dissatisfied with the progress of the boys' growth, so we've taken to stretching them.

It's also a good workout for the Big Guy.

IT ARRIVED!

The long-awaited battery for Zach's Crackberry came in the mail today. It's all charged up and ready to not call anyone at all. But it's really cool. And he's happy...for the moment...I hope.

Spending Spree

Grandpa Tubby and Grandma Silly sent Josh and Zach $5 each cold, hard cash for Valentine's Day. So, being the glutton for punishment I am, I took them to Target today to spend it before it burned an actual hole in their pockets.

I spent an entire TWO HOURS in the Target toy department (why was I so intent on spending this windfall?). Have you ever heard the phrase, "Can I have this?" repeated every three seconds for two hours? I have. And have you ever uttered the phrase, "No, you don't have enough money" every three seconds for two hours? I have. And now you've been to the Target toy department with me.

What did we get for all this pain, er, fun?

Zach got: A black clay owl figurine ($1.00) and a disk shooter ($2.49). He has $1.20 left for another joyful outing.

Josh got: A gray clay owl figurine ($1.00), a 4" rubber bee...or is it a hornet? ($1.00), a sheet of puffy bug stickers ($1.00), a teeny, tiny bowling set ($1.24) and Silly Putty ($1.00). I had to fork over 70 cents.

Because Zach is bragging about having a whole $1.20 to spend on something else, Josh is now trying to pawn off the overpriced bowling set so he can spend anew.

How to Numb Your Children's Minds

I got the How to Train Your Dragon movie for the boys over the weekend. As of today, we've watched it 57 times. Well, they've watched it; I've managed to watch the same four scenes 27 times each. At least those parts were entertaining.

Zach looks so happy to be there. Josh looks like he's being held against his will.

"I want...."

Zach was feeling a little wanty/needy today as I tried to clean the house:

"I want a monkey picture."
"I want the big rubber ducky."
"I want a scrub brush."

I gave him a little tin bucket with a picture of Batman on it.

"I want to clean with the chemicals."
"I want something new."

I gave him a new highlighter pen.

"I want something fat." (Offered him myself, but he cried harder.)
"I want something old." (See above.)

I gave him a big, fat, old pocket calendar.

Finally, I let him clean the toilet; happiness at last.

Zach's gonna make a really fine husband some day. Either that or a really fine janitor.

As soon as he was done and without skipping a beat, he said, "I want something big."
"I want a mirror." Etc., etc., etc....

Anticipation....

Zach's Crackberry is still plugged in, waiting for that invisible battery to charge. He says he knows there's no battery, but keeps saying that he thinks it will finish charging "any minute."

We check the mailbox about twice a day, even on Sundays and holidays. It's gonna be a loooooong week.

Evil Genius

Who is the evil genius that came up with Moon Dough and Moon Sand?!? That stuff is wicked. Fun to play with, but wicked. I'm not sure it'll ever come out of our rug. Or the boys' socks and shirts (well, Josh's shirt...Zach doesn't seem to want to wear one these days). Or the cats.

I gave it as a gift before trying it (sorry, Kara and Andy) and we did put it on the boys' Christmas list (thanks, Auntie Brenda & Uncle TJ), but it is NOT for 3+ year olds as the packaging says. Well, at least not my 3+ year olds.

I packed it all up and told the boys they couldn't play with it again until they were 7 years old. So there....

Charge!

Well, today was the day we've waited for. Pins and needles. Bated breath. Butterflies in our stomachs.

Zach's charger for his defunct Blackberry arrived! We plugged it in to much fanfare only to discover that, yes, there was NO battery to charge. The result was the tearing of hair and gnashing of teeth. Oh, and Zach cried.

It's probably not really nice to post this picture of him mid-meltdown, but I'm all about transparency.

The new battery should arrive next week....

Tasty Time

Josh saw an episode of Tasty Time with Ze Fronk on Playhouse Disney in which the aforementioned Ze Fronk was making cucumber tea sandwiches. Well, he simply had to have them. Bugged me for days. So, I got the cucumber, the whipped cream cheese and the fluffy white bread.

The reason Josh looks so odd in this photo is because I kept yelling at him (as usual)
to look at the camera (which he really wasn't) and he was grimacing and saying, "I AM!"

As I sliced and chopped and spread and speared and cut into four sweet little squares, I kept asking myself why I was making these sandwiches for the kid who didn't like cucumbers. Nevertheless, he was THRILLED with the presentation but, as expected, he only ate the olives and a tiny bit of the bread around the cucumbers. Oh, well, at least I now have a new skill.

'Nuff said....

Some days are just like that....

Happy Hearts Day!

I went a little crazy with the Valentine's Day food this year. I meant to make the mashed potatoes pink, but forgot (which might be better anyway...who eats pink food unless it's loaded with sugar?).

Jay and I aren't big on gifts and outings for Valentine's Day, but we do exchange cards and try to do something meaningful for the other. He's gonna help me rotate the new bed tonight.   (That doesn't sound quite right, but I'll leave it to you to figure it out!)

Crackberry

Zach has an inactive Blackberry that he carries around and pretends he's talking to someone or texting. I actually ordered a charger for it today because he insisted we fix it (only cost $2.50, so what the heck).

Do you think four years old is too young to have a Crackberry problem?

When we were reading his book at bedtime, he wouldn't put down the phone long enough to listen to the story. I wound up yelling at him to put the phone down or I would stop reading: "We don't talk on the phone when we're supposed to be listening!"

It finally occured to me that the phone is inoperable and it was probably not a big deal if he was pretending to be on a very important call. Still, he sleeps with the darned thing....

Say it ain't so!

I did it again; I took the boys to the grocery store with me. To be fair, I was being nice and giving Jay time to mow the lawn without having to dodge the boys, chase them down the street or yell at them not to play with the weed whacker.

For some reason, I thought they only had self-checkout (but that wasn't the case) and Zach INSISTED on doing the scanning (no nap at school today). We had to have the workers come over no less than three times to void stuff he scanned three and four times instead of once, and to void out the item he scanned on the register next to us.

I sounded like a deranged, wounded animal as I attempted to get someone, anyone, preferably my kids, to listen to me. When will I ever learn...?

Rock on!

Okay, Josh's rock obsession is getting out of hand...to wit, this little rock altar he constructed.

Don't ask me where he got the idea for this one....

To be fair, it was really a TV-viewing stand, but when he put the candle on it, it took a turn for the creepy. And I'm not really sure why rocks need to watch Wallace & Grommit anyway....

Googly Eyes

Okay, so here was the plan for our 10th anniversary celebration...nice dinner at The Press in Claremont, complete with lots of chatting and laughing and making googly eyes at each other.

Those are our googly eyes....

But here's what actually happened: I really wanted to see the latest Harry Potter movie because we NEVER get to see a movie unless it's already made its way to HBO. Doing dinner and the movie would have gotten us home really late and those kids still get up at oh-dark-hundred whether we've slept enough or not. So, we went to Taco Bell for a couple of Burrito Supremes, wolfed them down in the Ontario Mills parking lot and saw the movie.

It was so much fun and we are vowing (no, really) to do this more often. And we even chatted and laughed and made googly eyes at each other.

The Lovely Bones

Josh wasn't getting better after a diagnosis of walking pneumonia five days ago, so we spent an entire morning at the doctor's office. He had to have an x-ray and you've never seen a happier kid: "I'm sooooo excited to see my bones." We discussed staying still and holding his breath so he wouldn't move.

REALLY focused on holding his breath.

Being a good student, he asked to do it over because he thought he moved or coughed or sniffed or.... It wasn't necessary, though; he did just fine and the beautiful picture revealed that fluid did, indeed, remain in his left lung. He got another antibiotic that DOES NOT taste good like the amoxycilin. He is NOT pleased.

As we viewed the x-ray, the pediatrician said to be prepared; the air in the tummy and colon would result in a burp and a fart. Always nice to have something to look forward to....

Okay, okay...I surrender

This is me waving the white flag (okay, it's a washcloth, give me a break).

I officially give up.

These kids have been trying to break me for five years.

They win.

I surrender.

Note to my husband: You may claim my shattered soul under the couch next to the peanut-butter-honey-and-banana sandwiches they demanded and then rejected and then needed the bananas taken off and then couldn't manage to eat more than three bites of (and don't criticize me for ending a sentence with a preposition).

If I'm not there, I'm buying a one-way ticket to paradise....